William Glasser, RIP

There was an obit in todays's NY Times marking the passing of Dr. William Glasser. He wrote Reality Therapy, and Schools Without Failure among other books. As a psychology major in college, we read and discussed his works. His work was picked up by others including some Christian authors. He stressed taking responsibility for one's own life. Two concepts that he stressed in his writings were: 1) the only person in the world you can control is yourself, and 2) the effort to change others is wasted. It will only lead to more emotional problems. Related to these two main principles is this: the most profound human need is to love and be loved so it's critical that we repair broken relationships with family, friends or others by taking the initiative on our own to do it. It does no good to wallow in self pity, or hurt feelings, or resentment. Although, I do not know if Glasser was a professing Christian, I found his principles compatible with Christian faith. As a psychiatrist, Glasser broke with the Freudian model of psychoanalysis and focused on helping people take charge of their own lives. While Glasser might have believed we can control more than we actually can, I found his concepts to be like a breath of fresh air in my study of psychology and I found his principles made sense. Glasser was saying what Christians have said for centuries; God's relationship with us is based on forgiveness, and our relationships with others have to be based on forgiveness, too. We find that theological underpinning for relationships in the Lord's Prayer among other places. Glasser wrote that no one has the power to make us miserable nor make us happy. In his phrase, which others have popularized, happiness is a choice. What he meant was that we can control how we respond to the ways others sin against us. We can forgive; we can forget; we can choose to let it go instead of let it fester; we can move on; we can reach out to the ones who have hurt us. It's not always as easy as that but Glasser showed in real life case histories how it works. Jesus showed how it works, too. "Father, forgive them for they don't know what they are doing."

Yankee fan on hold

The Yankees are fighting for a chance to make the baseball postseason. Their star players are mostly all back although they are not as formidable as they once were. Jeter has only recently been in the lineup and is hitting a weak .200. Mariano Rivera is showing his age with 6 blown saves this year including one against Boston last night. Ichiro, the  perennial allstar when he was with the Mariners, is hitting well below his career average. And then we come to he middle of the order where A-Rod is batting. This is the biggest fraud of all. He is fighting his own personal battle against MLB for banning him for 211 games because he has used performance enhancing drugs, for years. His suspension is not in doubt although the length of it may be. Yet, here he is supported by MLB and the Yankees organization and showing up in the middle of the batting order day after day. There are only 20 games or so left. A-Rod has helped the Yankees in this playoff race. This fervent Yankee fan cannot hide his distaste for the way this season is playing out. Despite, Mo's last year and he has been a great player and role model for younger players. Despite, Jeter's valiant comeback attempt, and Cano's grace, Ichiro's gamesmanship, and Girardi's respect for the game, I cannot root them on. I hope baseball does not have to endure the sight of A-Rod in the playoffs, or worse, the World Series. It's a scandal that one of baseball biggest cheats is still on the field.

Adoption process

Our son and daughter in law and grandson are in China. They are concluding a long process of adopting a little girl from there. She has been in an orphanage for most of the first 18 months of her life. No one knows the circumstances but she was dropped off there when she was 4 months old. She had a heart problem and since she was a girl her future in China was very uncertain. She would have remained in the orphanage for a long time. This morning I saw the first pictures of her with her new family, her mother and father and brother holding her. Then, a bit later, I read in Psalm 68 this line: God is the Father of orphans.... This little girl has certainly been in her Father's hands. What a new life she is set to begin. From orphanage to belonging in a family... from a life of poverty to one where her needs and more will be met.... from a life where she did not matter much as a young girl with special needs to a special place where her family will do whatever they can to make sure those needs are met. It is such a dramatic change I cannot quite understand it. It is almost from death to life. From lost to found. From being no one to being someone. She is only one of millions of girls and boys just like her in the world: orphans. Before our son left for China he spoke in church about this experience. He used the analogy of God adopting each of us as his sons and daughters. In a spiritual sense, we were all orphans before being adopted into His family. The mindblowing part is this: He chose us. Our son and daughter in law chose their little girl but they did not "not" choose all the other orphans. That is, there was no rejection in this process. There is a strain of hyper Calvinist theology that draws the conclusion from the doctrine of election that since God chooses some, he must reject others, the ones who are not chosen. Watching our family go through this process of choosing: the paperwork, the heavy financial commitment, the endless arrangements, the stress, the tears, the prayers, and then the actual trip from the USA to China and the travel in a unknown place to finally meet this little girl they have chosen - all of this has spoken to me of God's love in choosing us. Of what he went through to get to us. This little girl will come to know in the days and years ahead what her chosen-ness means. She will grow into it. Much as we do as Christians when we grow into God's love for us. As we mature, we take more responsibility for our adoption into God's family. She will discover what grace and blessing she has received. Much as we do as Christians. It seems to me the point of that theological doctrine of election makes the most sense in this context. Yes, we are chosen. The point of that chosen-ness is to realize how we have been blessed, and to live out that blessing by being a blessing to others. Just as our family could choose only one little girl, we hope and pray others will be chosen, too. There are way too many orphans in the world. What fuels that hope and ignites our prayers is that God is the Father of orphans. We can pray for their chosen-ness, for them to find their place of belonging, however that may happen. God is the Father of orphans, we remember. And what about those we run into today who are not part of the family of God? God may be in the process right now of meeting them, telling them, showing them the new reality. They were lost but now are found, once an orphan but now have a special place in the family of God.

Football is coming

CBS and Time Warner settled their cable dispute which was keeping CBS out of some big city markets. No surprise, since the NFL starts this week and some of it's prime games are on CBS. I don't live in any of those big markets so I didn't really care what happened although we all knew what was going to happen as Football got closer (those stupid pre-season games don't count unless you are totaling up the injured from those games). Since we moved I have not gotten cable or dish or direct tv. The big cable companies down here and the big satellite companies are so darn customer unfriendly that it has put me off. Still, football and the baseball playoffs are coming.... It is also very expensive and upsetting that you should have to pay for all those channels you will never watch - which is most of them for me and none of them except pbs for my wife. Then, there is the fact that it has been kinda nice not to have tv these past few months. I sit less, I read more ( I'm aware that involves sitting too because I don't read standing up!), I have more time for things my wife wants me to do (she reads these blogs), and I go to bed earlier because I am not staying up late watching the end of a game. Truth is, I find I like this tv fast but I know what is coming... I can feel it... can I fight it... stay tuned

Debate on Syria

President Obama has launched the country into a debate on Syria and our response to the unleashing of chemical warfare there. Some will fault him for beginning this national debate and some have said he was too unsure of himself to make the call on his own. There will be critics no matter what course of action we choose. I think it is a good thing to involve our representatives and their constituents in this debate. As I have listened to the officials and the "un" officials, I have heard good points on both sides. One Senator said this is not the first atrocity nor will it be the last and we cannot police the world. It is true there has been no shortage of human atrocities across the world in our lifetimes. In this latest one it looks like Assad used chemical weapons on his own people, killing many hundreds including over 400 children. This atrocity may not be our business, indeed, as some say, a response will only lead to more dead. Needless to say, the blood of these dead Syrians cries out to God, as the Old Testament reminds us. There will be a response; there always is, and whether we will part of it remains to be seen.  In the book of Esther - which never mentions God - his unseen presence is on every page. It is there for the eyes of faith to see. To others the events that transpire may look like coincidences. The King's sleepless night, Mordecai's overhearing the conspiracy plot in the "gates", even Esther's rise to a position where she can influence the King; all of these coincidences assume God's involvement but only to those with the faith to see it. Old Testament scholar John Goldingay makes a good point when he says that sometimes the Old Testament shows God orchestrating events behind the scenes of our lives, but at other times God harnesses our decisions and actions after the fact and creatively uses them to fulfill his purposes. Either way, as the Psalmist says:  "YOU" judge the nations with equity and guide the nations upon earth." In Esther, God is sovereign but that fact does not excuse human courage and responsibility, in fact, it is just the opposite; it requires it.

Church building or people

Some observations on a few of our recent church visits. Each of these several churches we visited were leasing worship space. One meets in a store front in a strip mall right next to a restaurant on one side and a financial services office on the other. It has a small office and childcare space and seating for about one hundred. Another church has recently finished remodeling the worship space. It has state of the art video and audio technology, stadium seating and a large platform in the front. The last church left their building (the diocese owned it so they could not sell it) and leased space in an office park. They completely redid it and fashioned a simple yet profound worship space that appeals to all your senses. It is open and bright with seating in a semi-circle. You can clearly see what is going on up front and you are close enough to the worship action that you feel included. There is a large fellowship area immediately outside the sanctuary with table and chairs and a welcome/information station for visitors (visitors are clearly in mind during the service, too, where everything is explained either by the pastors or on the screen). Coffee is served and the donations support a mission in Honduras. There are   surrounding the fellowship center. There is childcare, and a children's program during the morning worship hours. There is no traditional Sunday School but there is an educational program midweek for all ages, and small groups, and special interest groups like a men's breakfast, and a senior luncheon. There are larger events that focus on social issues. There is an ongoing series called Christ and culture that asks what Christ has to say to the social issues of our time. This month the focus is race and how the church can be involved when racial tensions surface as they have in response to the verdict in the Zimmerman trial.  There are still loads of big, beautiful church buildings here in Florida. Most of the churches are not leasing space. (In downtown Jacksonville, the First Baptist Church takes up several blocks! of prime real estate in center city.) But, it seems to me these churches that have moved out of buildings - or never had one- are on to something. They are debt free and free of many maintenance issues older buildings face, and they can share space with others, ie, such as parking which is plentiful on Sunday because it is not being used by the other tenants. Money that is not spent on buildings can be used for ministry and mission. It is a model being used by some churches and I think in these increasingly tight economic times it makes sense. As we like to say, the church is people not the building.

Church worship

We have attended an Anglican church in Jacksonville the past few weeks. It is different from the Baptist churches we have served for many years in many ways but similar in some ways, too. This is what I like about it: there is a lot of Scripture, an Old Testament, an Epistle and the Gospel readings. A Psalm is used as a call to worship. Then, there is a sense of rehearsing the whole gospel every service. Through the confession, the assurance, the Nicene Creed, the prayers, the communion service, I feel washed over with the Gospel. Then, there are many people taking part, it is not a pastor centered service. The music is simple and powerful. In the early service we have been to there is a piano, guitar, and two vocalists, one who has played a flute. The music is lyric driven but the vocalists have powerful voices. There are many postures which help us worship. Most churches use standing, or sitting. I appreciate the opportunity to kneel on the benches provided at the pews and the invitation to come forward for communion and kneel at the altar. I have found I like the way we receive the "body" in our outstretched hands as the servers place the wafer there. (There is communion at every service.) The lectionary is used for the scripture readings and the sermon is based on them. That way a person can come to worship having already read the Word that will be read and taught. I have felt these past weeks a releasing of what I had been doing (pastoral ministry) and a renewed sense of "being" in worship. It has been emotional, both refreshing and I sense, renewing. For many years I have planned, led, worried, prodded, worried, pulled - and been near the center of much of what I perceived to be happening at worship (although how can we know what God is doing in worship?). I see there were not many times when I was able to worship - too much looking ahead to the next thing I had to do! I am sure the pastors of the church we are attending do that too, but I sense it is freeing to have the liturgy  provide the structure each week. Many of the words they use are repeated at each service (and why not, who can improve on them, ie, the Nicene Creed, for instance). I was talking to my wife about this today on the drive home ( I also like the 8:30 am service and the half hour drive each way to talk). She said, I think you have been a closet Anglican for a while. Maybe, she is right. The church we are attending seems a good fit for us partly because it is doing some of the things I have tried to do over the years as I studied the scripture and the history of worship. In a sense, this church is not doing anything new. Maybe that's what I like about it.